OUTSTANDING PRICK OF THE YEAR AWARDS -- II

Administration For a gold medallist in mechanical engineering Goa chief secretary J P Singh seems to have forgotten to apply some of the basics of applied science to the dwindling principles of bureaucracy. With 30 years of experience behind him, this 1977 batch IAS officer certainly fell back on the years of glorious tradition of civil service, when it came to the crunch in the Aldei de Goa case. He chickened out. The head of the state’s administrative machinery shamelessly admitted to the High Court that the controversial Aldei de Goa file was missing. Missing… Mr J Pissing? OUTSTANDING GOAN PRICK OF THE YEAR (ADMINISTRATION) without a doubt goes to this guy doesn’t it? Here he is in the picture sipping a cup of tea… Hey did you guys notice this before? Isn’t that a Pinocchio nose?

Police: During his stint in Goa, DIG Ujjwal Mishra really lived up to the standards of the Goa police Khaki. Now the word ‘Khaki’ does mean a yellowish brown coloured fabric used by the police and some uniformed forces, but the Marathi language also adds its own bit to the pot. ‘Kha ki’ in Marathi means ‘eat it’. Ujjwal Mishra certainly has lived up to every conceivable facet of this word. He bit more than he could chew, he put the foot in his mouth repeatedly and being a senior cop in the Goa police, he also ate a large share of the coastal poppy pie with ‘rave’nous zeal. His handling of the media too has been spot on… The reporters covering this beat have probably had more tea in his cabin, than in their respective lifetimes… No wonder, the Goan newspapers never reported this bit of news during Mishra’s long stint in the state...Ujjwal was one of those 22 ‘honourable’ IPS officers who were against whom the Chief Vigilance Commissioner had recommended the initiation of criminal/departmental proceedings for major penalty a while back. Ujjwal Mishra is our sure shot winner of the OUTSTANDING GOAN PRICK OF THE YEAR (Police) for living up to the reputation as the top gun of the Goa police TOP BRAS, especially with an AS’S’ to spare.

Social Work: Ok lets not mock these guys shall we… Fine work them folks render unto us. There’s people who we think should’ve been on this list… There’s Pramod Salgaonkar who’ll probably step down as the boss of the Goa State Commission for Women when her hair ages… That’s probably should happen say around 2050… Black hair… that’s something to dye for ain’t it? Then there was Datta Naik… the Margao builder and social worker, who real talent is ‘building’ smoke screens… But we’ve chosen a quirky one for the winner of this category… The Penpricks OUTSTANDING GOAN PRICK OF THE YEAR (Social Work) goes to Soter D’Souza for volunteering to embody the spirit of vaginism, albeit for a spell… Need more on this please contact Dr Oscar Rebello or Soter himself for more on this vaginism bit… Soter’s a sporting chap… sure they’ll tell you more about it.(more tomorrow)