Monday, 15 October 2007


It’s not that we are regressive.
We aren’t desperate guys with knives slashing all over.
We too try to look at ways in which we could improve the media scenario in Goa.
We too are inspired by the good things in life, like that training programme which was held at the Goa International Centre for journalists from Tajikistan.
In fact we have already drawn a blue print of such a programme for our Goa journos too. If these journo chappies from Tajikistan can come over here to sharpen their skills, why can’t our journos do it in their home itself?
Here are some of the details we chose to leak out to you guys from the blueprint we have prepared for the event.
We ensured that we put a big asterisk on the invite, asking journos to read the bottom of the page, so that the message was communicated without any misunderstanding. The footnote reads.
We were thinking that we would hold this workshop at a casino on a Sunday evening. We narrowed down on the Caravela. The casino owners would really be glad to let us have one of their gaming rooms for free because, if someone in Goa needs the media on their right side right now, its the casino lobby. We could ask someone from The Navhind Times to get this arrangement going.
For a panel of experts we thought we should try and rope in folks not just from the media, but also other walks of life. So here’s some of the names we came up with. We would also like to state here, that we did draw some inspiration from the Goa Union of Journalists here in choosing the chairman for this experts panel. GUJ generally calls politicians for this job. We followed suit.
Aleixo Sequeira chairs the panel, because few are at home in a casino as our power minister is. Beacause even though he runs a major liquor brewery, he doesn’t want his linemen to drink. Because getting him to Caravela would be easy. Because it would save him a trip to Nepal.
Ujjwal Mishra to deliver the keynote address, because his one quote is a three-column story, two quotes are a page 1 headline and three quotes are a few feet down his throat. Because this man in khaki has perfected the art of cultivating beat reporters. Because if crime reporters don’t get a story in this DIG’s cabin, they atleast get a cup of tea.
Manohar Parrikar, because he knows what it is to be the perfect media darling and the perfect media whipping boy. Because the latter phase taught him that the media is fair only when you control their pay cheques. Because he is one of the first politicians in Goa to have a direct stake in a mainstream newspaper GOADOOT.
Luizinho Faleiro, because this man virtually dictates terms at press conferences. Because he tells you what to write. Because he even gives you the adjectives. Because he is a master at cultivating journos and newspaper owners.
Dr Wilfred de Souza, because he knows the art of abusing the media and getting away with it. Because he can pass off nonsense as news and even make the dumbos who drop in at his press conferences believe so. Because he is presently out of a job.
Mickky Pacheco, because he knows how to use his fists, in case a journo crosses the line.
Arun Sinha, because he knows how to survive adversity. Because he has managed to hold on to the chair of editor even after facing charges of molestation of a minor servant in his house. Because you never know whats ticking in his mind. Because you never even see him outside his cabin and yet you see The Navhind Times out on the stands the next day.
Rajan Narayan, because he knows how to create adversity. Because if Karn (Mahabharata) was born with a kavach kundal, Rajan was born with a lifejacket. Because he was the first editor to give journalism in Goa’s its first hint of colour. Because after that first hint of promise, the colour went yellow. Because he can sell bull-shit to you. Because you still buy the same bull-shit and call it investigative, bold, fair journalism.
Raul Fernandes, because he shows more interest in a furniture store than a newspaper. Because he needs the newspaper to supports his other failing business interests. Because at least this workshop will get him back to Indian shores from the Philippines. Because like Aleixo, Raul also likes the fish and the ‘chips’.
Robin Abreu, because he has made work, simple. Because if you put his techniques into practice, you won’t need to work anymore. Because he popularised the art of plagiarism in the Goan media. Because Robin has reduced a newspaper to a rag.
Suresh Walve, because he gave up a career in Bollywood for journalism. Because during some of the innumerable times he combs his hair in office, he still has second thoughts about Bollywood. Because as editor he thinks his brief is to clear the passage from his cabin to the loo using his hips.
Uday Bhembre, because he is a former editor. Because he heads the Goa Pradesh Congress Committee think tank. Because he thinks he can think. Because he thinks thinking actually matters in the Congress.
Chandrakant Keni, because you need grease to smoothen things up. Because he can ‘fix’ anything. Because he can pass off two eulogies on the chief minister Digu and within a day and get both newspapers to publish it. Because Parkinson is not the reason why his journalism has always been wavering.
Prakash Sakhalkar, because as the owner of Café Prakash, he knows what it is to tolerate journalists. Because his café keeps journalists away from work most part of the day.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is this Goan media's hall of shame?

15 October 2007 at 20:23  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey pricks,
You are a bunch of darlings. You have caught these editors by there b....
You have sized them up perfectly.
They now know, am sure, that they can't get away with bull-shit. They know that there's someone watching each and every move of theirs.
That penpricks will get the hell out of them.
Oh! penpricks you people are like breath of fresh air.
You make us see what happens behind those headlines.
I hope you carry on and on and on.
PLease let us know if you need some financial help to get this log going.
This slush in goan media should clear.
These rascals need to do some soul-searching.
Love you guys. keep going.

15 October 2007 at 21:18  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The efforts of Pen-Pricks are indeed commendable.
For long Goan Press, in particular newspapers like Herald, have succeeded in brainwashing a section of Goan community by spreading lies, innuendo and falsehood using means that are well exposed by the talented penpricks.
I think this is the first of its kind exposure of the behind the curtains dirty drainage that flows in our papers.
Congratulations guys, hope you will reap the rewards of your hard work, expenses and talents.
Another Goan ganv g... Churchill Alemao needs to be exposed, tarnished and political buried deep inside the ground-never to see the light of the day again-
This g.... has only one single minded agenda and that is the development of self and his nearest kith and kins. Other wise how one could explain his somersaults in the recent times.
Why he has to hanker for his daughter only? why not other members of the Party?
For long, this (former) smuggler and his family has taken the kiristav's, in particular those from Salcete, for a jolly good ride. Wake up people, before it is too late. (comment edited)

16 October 2007 at 11:02  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon @ 16 October 2007 11:02

(On your last sentence)
There is another politician who has taken the PETS for a ride. On the contract, it is clearly mentioned that they will not get government jobs. So, other candidates, didn't apply for wages that are below minimum wage! They didn't have insider information, that this was a back door entry with no proper recruitment rules.
Even the typing speed was reduced from 40 to 30 (words per minute) especially for them.
No one, even today, prefers to have them, work under them. A slightest discipline enforcement and they used to call the then CM, who used to give the concerned person a reprimand.

Yet the media was obtuse in reportage. It was an inconvenient truth. (Or maybe they shit in their pants, after they received legal notices form the then CM)
So, please don't talk about smugglers. You know the principles of justice, "You are innocent until proven guilty"

16 October 2007 at 18:54  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey what am I hearing You just called Penpricks Darling! You must be one of them who Just wants to Popularise the Penprick ratings. These "Darlings" should come out in the open and not hide behind anonymity. Invisible clowns my foot.

18 October 2007 at 11:21  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi ANNON. 18 October 2007 11:21

Looks like you are Raul Abreau or his Darling :)

19 October 2007 at 03:23  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prick readers are very inquisitive about knowing the brains behind Penpricks.

But you guys who write the comments : Do you have the balls to write your name when you guys write the comments?

Then only we can demand from Penpricks to come out open.

We too write the comments as anonymous.Do you have it in you to write your name.

Russel Fernandes

20 October 2007 at 13:31  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good to know that besides you have taken potshots at Navhind times, Sunaprant and a few journos of other print media.

Can we have something on GT.

20 October 2007 at 19:32  

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