IN THE PINT OF HEALTH

Hahaha... check this Navhind Times story out guys... UB group has helped start a Primary Health Centre in Bethora and had Digu inaugurate it... This is what Digu said in presence of the United Breweries Goa hitman Govind Tiwari... “One should not wait for the government to provide all such facilities, instead, should pounce on the available health schemes provided by the private firms. I am so glad that the Bethora PHC will exclusively cater to liver transplants, considering the fact that the UB group which sells beer on almost every continent (those penguins just dont take to beer... damn) works like a beacon to liver related ailments." Digu also promised the UB group, that he would render every possible assistance vis a vis the Bethora PHC project, especially in light of Dr Amit Kumar's arrest, which could severly impede the supply of raw liver into the state... hehehe

Private firms should aid social causes: Digambar NT News Service
Ponda, Feb 27: The Chief Minister, Mr Digamber Kamat said that it is necessary that private firms show interest in social causes and welfare of the public in general.The chief minister was speaking after inaugurating the primary health center at Bethora which was built due to the efforts of the United Beverages (UB) group along with the local panchayat at Bethora, Ponda, on Tuesday evening.
He said that private companies are now showing social interest and health consciousness. “One should not wait for the government to provide all such facilities, instead, should pounce on the available health schemes provided by the private firms,” he advised pointing out that it is often human tendency to accuse the government despite its efforts.
Mr Kamat explained how his government mobilized a scheme of mobile health clinic to help the rural poor and needy.
“The government distributed two mobile health clinics, one for Satari and the other for Gaondongrim-Canacona villagers, as we noticed that the aged people could not even go to the health centers,’’ Mr Kamat emphasized.
He said the clinic will include the X-rays and scanning machines besides general checks-ups.
He mentioned how the aam admi was helped with such clinics in remote areas and added that two more clinics will be brought.
“We wish to provide health facilities at the door step of these villagers,’’ he vowed.
Mr Surendra Sirsat also addressed the gathering.
The Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of UB group, Mr Govind Tiwari, said that they had commenced water harvesting schemes in the locality and that it helped them improve water supply.
He said that the doctor will be available at the clinic except on Tuesday and Thursday.
Earlier, the chief minister, Mr Kamat cut the ribbon to mark the inauguration of the health center. Ms Asha Kamat was also present for the function.

DEMOLITION, A STRIP SHOW AND TURTLE EGGS

Hi guys,
Check this story out... One of the most freaky reports we've ever read... Its a story filed by Herald's Poinguinim correspondent on the demolition of shacks at Galgibag. Journos reporting from major towns should take note from this guy's report and learn how to infuse life in these otherwise drab stories.
Check out the part in bold... And Melvyn tone up these correspondent copies man, your sources in the Bishop's Palace won't be too pleased with unnecessary nudity in stories filed by your flock of correspondents...

13 illegal shacks razed at Galgibaga
HERALD CORRESPONDENT
POINGUINIM, FEB 26 – Authorities on Tuesday demolished 13 shacks illegally operating at the Galgibaga beach. A strong police force was deployed to see that officials, including the BDO, Joint Mamlatdar and Electricity Junior Engineer, accompanying the demolition drive were adequately protected.
While some shack owners demolished the structures on their own, the labourers of the PWD department razed the other structures. Some unhappy shack owners accused local panch Caitan Barreto of passing a resolution regarding their shacks in the panchayat meeting. Speaking to the Herald, Barreto refuted the allegations and claimed that the resolution was passed following directives from higher government officials.
Except for some verbal babblings, no untoward scene was noticed during the demolition drive.
Incidentally, officials were caught unawares when a female foreign tourist was asked to vacate the shack. She packed her bag, undressed herself and walked away naked, much to the embarrassment of onlookers and the demolition drive squad.
Galgibaga beach is one of the few pristine beaches left in the State and the endangered Olive Ridley turtles use this beach to hatch eggs. The government declared this beach as a protected area in 2003 and had entrusted the forest department to safeguard the hatched eggs and to keep thieves at bay.
Last year, 18 turtle nestling sites were detected and protected, but this year, only three sites have been found where turtles nestled. This exodus of the turtles is attributed to ever-growing number of foreign and local tourist to this beach.

DODGY APOLOGY

This is the public apology which was published in the Goa Today some time after the magazine published some offending remarks against the judiciary. Wonder if they should be made to publicly apologise to their readers once again, for being unable to publish an apology correctly?

GOA CABINET WARNED AGAINST GARBAGE DUMPING

Agitators in Goa take to the streets warning the state government against dumping 'garbage' in the state. (pic by Rajtilak Naik on daijiworld.com)

TIMES OF INDIA'S LATEST WEAPON* -- MALLIKA SHERAWAT

What all isn't the TIMES OF INDIA trying to do to woo the local newspaper staffers... After the first round of negotiations received lukewarm reaction (apparently Thapa, Vijay, Guilherme and Julian have turned down their offer), here's proof of the newest and a more potent strategy...
TOI has unleashed Bollywood starlet Mallika Sherawat on the journos and technicians who are still fence-sitting... The rationale behind this being that Mallika may just do enough to nudge these guys off the fence and into their side of the yard...
The guy above -- of those who was targetted -- is Amit Soiru who handles all the computer-related stuff at the Herald... He is supposed to have had this rendezvous with Mallika recently, who reportedly coaxed him to make the switch to the TOI soon... 'TOI has bigger assets than even I do' is the pitch she is rumoured to have drilled into Amit. Perhaps Mallika is really not aware that this guy was trained by the legendary hardware engineer in the Herald named Sachin, whose only solution to computer related issued was, "Start jainaaa... Restart it!".
We dunno much about Amit's mettle, but after meeting Mallika it does seems like he needs to reboot himself too...

*Of course this is a joke guys... We found this pic on orkut... thought we'd just have some fun... Nothing personal against Amit, in case he reads it and finds it pissing off... And Mallika... doesn't read this blog anyway... sigh...

TURNING A NELSON'S EYE!!!

Henceforth, the phrase ‘to turn a Nelson’s eye’ will henceforth be known as something else altogether in Goa. Thanks to the hardly reported former Herald sports editor Nelson Dias’ peeping tom scandal. Cops booked Nelson Dias after a hidden camera was found in the dressing room of Dubai Shoppe which is owned by Nelson of the ‘roving eye’.
This fact came to light after a woman who was trying out a garment in the dressing room discovered the camera staring at her.
There are a few media related issues here that need looking at. The way the media handled this issue was very very tragic. Herald did not carry this story. We are really not aware if the Navhind times carried this story too? Pls write back and tell us guys we aren’t sure about this. But the Gomantak Times carried it without mentioning Nelson’s name… The only newspaper which perhaps carried the story naming the accused was the Marathi edition of Gomantak and the Goan Observer.
The reason why the media was reluctant when it came to carrying the story or dropping Nelson’s name from the story stemmed from the fact that Nelson runs a moderately successful ad agency and gives a lot of revenue to newspapers. The fact that he did rounds of all newspapers meeting news editors and chief subs also mattered.

RHYME AND REASON

Here, here, here we say
The Times of India’s coming here to stay
Why, why, why the fright
Cause the botoxed crone’s got diamonds and a scythe

Now we hear, the media
Is gonna wear a fancy gown
Then she’ll hitch it up
And cruise around
Here, here, here I say
The Times of India’s coming to stay

Journalists who switched
We hear, have hit pay dirt
Will lycra replace khadi now
Or the rare Bharne shirt
Here, here, here I say
The Times of India’s coming to stay

Finally, the local papers we hear
Did look inwards, but began to shiver and pee
Being scared they say at what’s left
To look-a-see
Here, here, here I say
The Times of India’s coming to stay
Why, why, why the fright
Cause the botoxed crone’s got diamonds and a scythe

A STITCH IN TIME'S' SAVES THINE

Oh yes… the churning’s begun.
We have had a lot of comments about Times of India’s imminent Goa edition. While on the one hand our English language dailies will finally try to pull up their socks, they would also be wondering whether they’d be able to do it fast enough before Times of India yanks their long Johns down.
Which newspaper’s circulation will the media giant eat into? The Herald or The Navhind Times? Will TOI’s entry inviriogate The Navhind Times? Something like what it did to Hindustan Times in Delhi, when TOI caught the Rajdhani Express its head quarters in Bombay to New Delhi terminus.
One thing’s for sure the group of Filipinos presently bossing around in the Herald surely aren’t giving the newspaper or its sister channel the ‘fillip’ they were supposed to. And the only weapons in Raul’s arsenal right now is a seemingly reluctant Tombat and Raul’s new planeload of Filipino loves.
Gomantak Times, they are a poor third at the moment and the readership pie they are guarding is probably too small for the TOI to sink its teeth into.
This too is a great time for English language journalists in Goa with their stocks soaring quite a bit. The entry of the TOI has considerably infused salary packets here. A word of caution for em though. This season of spring isn’t a natural phenomenon. This isn’t the spring of the meadows or the forests. You re right in the middle of a well manicured bania garden, where a well-paid gardener strolls around regularly with pruning scissors the moment he finds something unwieldy. So think well before you jump.
Guys, here’s a list of guys who have made or are likely to have made the switch to TOI. Guys whose names have been mentioned are free to write back with clarifications in case they do not concur with the input here. If readers have any other name that fits the bill, write in

Herald
Vijay D’Souza
Julian Dcosta
Guilherme Almeida
Suraj Nandrekar
(Could leave Herald staggering with a completely devastating blow to its team. You could probably see Raul covering press conferences and lectures before their recruit new reporters. Ashwin will probably be delivering the same lectures and press confereces that Raul’s covering)

Gomantak Times
Paul Fernandes
Preetu Nair
Andrew
Thapa

Times of India gets one good reporter in Paul fernandes to cover environment and culture heritage, which are just so suited to the Times Of India cause they are so heart rending and at the same time don’t hurt anyone in particular. Thapa’s the seniormost sub on the GT gesk, we guess… Preetu and Andrew are probably a set of young legs to do some running around for TOI. GT would need to haul ass.

Navhind Times
Joaquim Fernandes
Agnelo Periera

Perhaps the only two guys who are good enough in The Navhind Times. And the fact that TOI has not advertised for ass-lickers, most of the TNT journos will stay put.

A READER WRITES IN

We know we know... been a small while since we punched up something here... but a reader has... see you guys soon...


A reader writes in...

MAJOR UPHEAVAL IN HERALD
The Herald, Goa's largest selling English daily suddenly found itself facing a major upheaval on Monday afternoon.
The Times of India tsunami swept the Herald newspaper office unexpectedly with three reporters Vijay D'Souza, Guilhereme Almeida and Julian D'Costa switching allegiances to the bigger rival.
The three disillusioned reporters who form the backbone of the State news content in Herald tendered their resignation letters to the editor, Ashwin Tombat who in turn apprised the personnel manager, Vijay Gaonkar of the developments to help diffuse the crisis.
However, the management's damage control exercises came to a naught with all three reporters refusing to withdraw their letters.The Herald management knew of the impending arrival of the ToI Goa edition well in advance but has failed to act on it.The Herald MD, Raul Fernandes who has a past of breaking his assurances flew down to Goa on a chartered flight to take stock of the situation. As a face saving measure and to prevent the exodus of more employees, the MD sanctioned the raise in remuneration of its lower and middle rung editorial staff with effect from the current month.The TOI tremor caused enough fissures to make Raul hasten the process on which he procastinated for over six months.
The Times group has already been scouting for experienced manpower and is still tapping both vernacular and English newspapers for resources. Their logistical requirement of 20 copy editors is likely to leave a major dent in the three English dailies.
The newspaper managements are also apprehensive that the Times of India onslaught will eat into their advertising revenues. What happened in Herald is likely to have a domino effect on the other two English dailies also namely Navhind and Gomantak Times. With better prospects beckoning them in all aspects, managements of all three dailies are going hammer and tong to keep their productive employees behind. Unfortunately all of them are still unaware they are treading on unsteady ground which has enabled ToI to make waves on local shores.

OUTSTANDING PRICK OF THE YEAR AWARDS -- III

SPORTS: We didn’t even need to toss a coin here. If there ever was a poll to choose a chap for the top slot in the state’s sports department, SAG (Sports Authority of Goa) Executive Director V M Prabhudessai would surely come up trumps. The kind and the level of games this guy can play and orchestrate is simply mind-boggling. If an independent investigation were to be initiated into chief minister Digu’s premature hair-loss, there are good chances that the under-qualified and chronic sycophant, V M Prabhudessai could be one of the main reasons behind it. For when it comes to the crunch Prabhudessai simply licks his way out of it anybody, anywhere, anytime. Ladies and gentlemen winner of the OUTSTANDING PRICKS OF THE YEAR AWARD (SPORTS) V M Prabhudessai.

TYCOONS: Something ‘fomenting’ within the Timblo clan, is there? The Timblos who win our OUSTANDING PRICK OF THE YEAR (TYCOONS), one of the tight-knit group of invincible mining mandarins in Goa, gave us a lot to wonder about this year. First up, the sensational murder case against one of the scions of the family, when Sarvesh Timblo was booked for the murder of Mario Mascarenhas. This was very strange indeed, for historically the mining lords have been known to outsource a lot of onerous tasks to handymen. It’s the red of the torn earth that these big boys like to handle on their own, the messier form of red is usually taken care of by minnions. Wonder what happened in Sarvesh’s case? Then there was the tiff with Babush Monseratte over the private beach near Cidade… Timblo’s have been eyeing this beach property for years now… A private beach to wet their feet… This too got out of hand for them, which makes us seriously suspect that the Timblo’s may not be as invincible as they used to be. And of course then comes the falling off with Rajan Narayan vis a vis Prudent media… Wonder if Rajan asked for a flat too many?

CELEBRITY: Did you know Hema Sardesai’s uncle is one Gurudas Parrikar? I guess then that explains why she has such a soft corner for this particular surname. You could hear it all over her performance at the Save Goa Rally recently. Once she did that, we had no choice but to name her as the OUTSTANDING PRICK OF THE YEAR (CELEBRITY) before the state confered a Padmashri on her in the near future, i.e. if the BJP ever comes to power.

JUDICIARY: Shhh… Please do not attribute any motives here… The OUSTANDING PRICK OF THE YEAR (JUDICIARY) goes to sacked judicial magistrate first class (JMFC) Shekhar Parab who showed us why judges should not have the word ‘real estate agent’ listed on their resumes. Parab’s conduct has certainly lowered the dignity of the judiciary in Goa by several notches.

EDUCATION: However hard you churn the pot here, the only name that would cut through the slime and rise to the top would be Dr Waman Naik… No other deserves to nail the OUTSTANDING PRICK OF THE YEAR (Education) category other than this SS Dempo principal Waman Naik. Although unlike parts of North India, Goa does not see carnage in the name of caste… But there still occasions when criminal liability can be salvaged by the appropriateness of caste. The Dempo college management has stopped short of honouring this man for allegedly sexually harassing a teacher at work, hence we decide to do the honours.

EDITORS: Do we need to say… Do we really need to say? Who… I guess the pic should do the trick… Right?


REPORTERS: They say only the froth rises to the top, but you would too, if you hung onto it for a bit. For his ever so silent rise to the top Gomantak chief reporter Sadguru Patil we confer upon him the PENPRICKS OUTSTANDING PRICK OF THE YEAR
(REPORTING). We can say with a certain bit of authority, that this award would cap his rise from a diligent, sincere, hardworking reporter to a self-obliging battering ram for Sudhin Dhavalikar, Vishwajeet Rane, Gurudas Gawas and company. And if not a battering ram, you could also hire his buttering services anytime you want… And hey its not as expensive as you think it is…

MEDIA BARON: For someone who knows how to find her way in the tushy… sorry cushy company of Shilpa Shetty, Yana Gupta, Zeenat Aman, Malaika Arora, Lisa Ray, Bipasha Basu (check this link) Pallavi Dempo the big boss of Navhind Publications is our candidate for the OUTSTANDING PRICK OF THE YEAR AWARDS (Media Baroness). What clinched the award for us is her unstinted support to Navhind Editor Arun Sinha and columnist Dr Waman Naik – the former has been accused of molesting a minor maid-servant, while the latter has been accused of sexual harassment by a lecturer in the college where Waman teaches. In all sincerity we appreciate the sensitivity she displayed towards alleged erudite child molesters and caste-right principals accused of sexual harassment. A hand… give her a hand guys… Takes nerve to do this.

Special categories
DEAD PRICK AWARD: We slipped this one in. The winner of this award is the Editors Guild of Goa or is it the Goa Editor’s Guild (see pic) which we think needs to endorse a life certificate to prove that these guys are really alive. In a turbulent year for the media these editors made their presence felt by their dignified absence… Someone tell us is this Guild a fable or what?

INNOVATIVE PRICK AWARD: Only one taker for this one… Its dear Harry Mann, who faced gallows in the Cash for Editorial scam that we broke some time back… Robin lived on for a few more months, but poor Harry was banished across the seas for his innovative editorial squelching endeavour.

OUTSTANDING PRICK OF THE YEAR AWARDS -- II

Administration For a gold medallist in mechanical engineering Goa chief secretary J P Singh seems to have forgotten to apply some of the basics of applied science to the dwindling principles of bureaucracy. With 30 years of experience behind him, this 1977 batch IAS officer certainly fell back on the years of glorious tradition of civil service, when it came to the crunch in the Aldei de Goa case. He chickened out. The head of the state’s administrative machinery shamelessly admitted to the High Court that the controversial Aldei de Goa file was missing. Missing… Mr J Pissing? OUTSTANDING GOAN PRICK OF THE YEAR (ADMINISTRATION) without a doubt goes to this guy doesn’t it? Here he is in the picture sipping a cup of tea… Hey did you guys notice this before? Isn’t that a Pinocchio nose?

Police: During his stint in Goa, DIG Ujjwal Mishra really lived up to the standards of the Goa police Khaki. Now the word ‘Khaki’ does mean a yellowish brown coloured fabric used by the police and some uniformed forces, but the Marathi language also adds its own bit to the pot. ‘Kha ki’ in Marathi means ‘eat it’. Ujjwal Mishra certainly has lived up to every conceivable facet of this word. He bit more than he could chew, he put the foot in his mouth repeatedly and being a senior cop in the Goa police, he also ate a large share of the coastal poppy pie with ‘rave’nous zeal. His handling of the media too has been spot on… The reporters covering this beat have probably had more tea in his cabin, than in their respective lifetimes… No wonder, the Goan newspapers never reported this bit of news during Mishra’s long stint in the state...Ujjwal was one of those 22 ‘honourable’ IPS officers who were against whom the Chief Vigilance Commissioner had recommended the initiation of criminal/departmental proceedings for major penalty a while back. Ujjwal Mishra is our sure shot winner of the OUTSTANDING GOAN PRICK OF THE YEAR (Police) for living up to the reputation as the top gun of the Goa police TOP BRAS, especially with an AS’S’ to spare.

Social Work: Ok lets not mock these guys shall we… Fine work them folks render unto us. There’s people who we think should’ve been on this list… There’s Pramod Salgaonkar who’ll probably step down as the boss of the Goa State Commission for Women when her hair ages… That’s probably should happen say around 2050… Black hair… that’s something to dye for ain’t it? Then there was Datta Naik… the Margao builder and social worker, who real talent is ‘building’ smoke screens… But we’ve chosen a quirky one for the winner of this category… The Penpricks OUTSTANDING GOAN PRICK OF THE YEAR (Social Work) goes to Soter D’Souza for volunteering to embody the spirit of vaginism, albeit for a spell… Need more on this please contact Dr Oscar Rebello or Soter himself for more on this vaginism bit… Soter’s a sporting chap… sure they’ll tell you more about it.(more tomorrow)

OUTSTANDING PRICK OF THE YEAR AWARDS I

We are a few days behind the NDTV and CNN-IBN schedules guys… Please bear with us…. But the list of winners of the OUTSTANDING GOAN PRICK OF THE YEAR awards will be published here over the next three days… Relax guys… have a read…Here's the first lot...

OUTSTANDING PRICK OF THE YEAR (POLITICS)
Grooming: For a tailor, Goa’s tourism minister Mickky Pacheco sure cuts his clothes real close. In fact at times, it is difficult to see where the taut clothes end and Mickky’s epidermis begins. The sort of clothes Mickky tends to don, the phrase ‘hair standing on its end’ is ruled out. There is simply no head-space for his bodyhair. They could learn a lesson or two in ‘dissent’ from Dr Oscar Rebello.
Although we did for a moment consider Churchill Alemao’s belly-in-Vailankini. feet-in-Salcete rendition of the timeless safari for the OUTSTANDING PRICK OF THE YEAR AWARD (POLITICS – GROOMING), but our vote swung in favour of Mickky Pacheco after we saw this photo on the BBC along with his interview. Any minister who has the nerve to grant an interview to the BBC, while wearing his loin-cloth on his head as a bandana, sure has gumption to carry off any style.

Loyalty: Guess it wouldn’t be wrong to say that six time chief minister Pratapsing Rane’s son Vishwajeet has taken to politics like a duck to water or should we say like a sow to slime or perhaps a termite to wood or even maybe like gonorrhoea to a truck driver. All this while we thought that Vishwajeet would be an apt candidate for a different sort of a grooming award. But then his actions in the recent past have helped him qualify for the OUTSTANDING PRICK OF THE YEAR AWARDS (POLITICS – Loyalty). His ‘homecoming’ (homecoming as in his re-affirmation of his support to the Congress) after all those dalliances he and his father played with the Congress mothership is stuff legends are made of. This feat makes him the rightful winner of the ‘LOYALTY’ category for after Vishwajeet, Babush and gang screwed Goa for a week, Vishajeet finally ‘came’ Home.

Foresight: We had a wee bit of competition for this category too. Churchill’s mighty gamble of resigning as a Lok Sabha MP and going mofussil king-maker was a close one again.
But the eventual winner in this category, but it looks like mine-owner Anil Salgaonkar has a fine layer of foresight impressed on his contact lenses. This man saw a storm brewing on the horizon, when everyone could only see the tip of a ship-mast. And since then, what hasn’t this man done to ensure that he doesn’t foot the bill for towing away the M V River Princess from the shores of Candolim? The crumbling ship managed to stay afloat while governments which tried to salvage it, crumbled. Anil Salgaonkar is also the first scion of the leading rapacious mining firms in the state to successfully make jump from the mining ‘Pit’ to legislative ‘Well’.
Plumbing ‘new depths’ it would appear is second nature to both miners and political breed.